Rebuttal by Elder Serapion

In late 2008 I went for my annual counselling with Elder Serapion. In the past I would look forward with anticipation to these annual counselling sessions. This year was different. I couldn't put my finger on it. I had been doing everything required of me. Yet something was not right.

Every morning I would arise at 4:00am to perform Matins followed by 100 prostrations and 30 minutes of inner prayer. At 6, 9, Noon and 3pm I would perform a shortened version of the daily hours, then during lunch I would eat my rye crackers, fruit and water and read Matthew Chapters 5, 6 & 7 along with a Kathisma from the Psalter. When I arrvied home I performed the evening vespers followed by 30 minutes of inner prayer work.

Our meeting opened with the usual exchanges then my Elder proceeded to tell me, your problem is you have yet to realize the truth:

"You are completely pure, holy, sinless, innocent, and fully worthy of all of God's blessings, and God has already given every blessing, including all of Himself. You have eternally dwelt in the mind of God, as a perfect and eternal thought, and you are still as God created you."

Shocked I stated "That sounds Heretical!"

"But it is True" replied my Elder "God is Love and has no opposite. To think he creates anything unlike himself would make him a liar"

"Besides, what do you think the parable of the Prodigal Son is about?"

"The best way to learn something is by living it. My obedience for you, if you choose to take it, is to go out into the world and experience life in its fullest. Let go of all your pious pride and become a fool for Christ. Sleep in on Sunday mornings then head out to enjoy nature. You are more likely to encounter God in nature than you will standing in some communion line where a bunch of self conscious hypocrits are worried about who is looking at them."

I was shocked, but it made sense, what have I been trying to accomplish anyway? Did I think that what God has Created can be changed by the mind of Man? Did I actually think that what God created as perfect (in his image) could be rendered imperfect? Did I believe that I could actual distort the creations of God, including myself?

"One more thing little brother. Your ridiculous practice of celibacy is going to soon come to an end as your Vajrayogini is about to manifest herself to you. In order to be ready you must start taking DHEA suppliments. Preferably something with Yohimbe and Horny Goatweed. In addition to that you should start jelqing and read the following books:
Taoist Secrets of Love & Awaken Healing Energy Through Tao "

"You may also remember in the Philokalia the Fathers warn that it is possible when searching for the Heart to miss and hit lower centers resulting in the passions being inflamed. What happened to these practitioners was their focus hit a center known by Daoist as the "sperm palace" which happens to be the second energy center accessed when accomplishing the microcosmic orbit. Instructions for locating it are in Awaken Healing Energy Through Tao. You will actually want to focus on this center to restore your sacred sexual energy.

Wait a minute! You're telling me I should actually try and do opposite of what the Fathers teach and direct my mind and the Jesus Prayer into the sperm palace to actually increase my passions and desire for sex!

"Yes, you're not a desert monk and you will be meeting someone very soon who will require every bit of that energy you can muster up, and then some. The two of you will take those energies and alchemically transmute them into spiritual love. But enough for now.

VMB Introduction and History

In order to understand the story of the virgin monk boy I must first give you a little history. First off, this is a true story, however names and places have been changed to protect the innocent and the NOT so innocent :-)

This is a story of a spiritual seeker who tried to avoid sexual relationships in his quest for spiritual enlightenment only to discover that his apparent conquest of "sexual thoughts" was really just a circumcision of consciousness.

This journey started back in 1999 with my initiation into the Gelug tradition of Tibetan Buddhism. By saying "my initiation into...." I am referring to taking my bodhisattva vows and receiving a series of empowerments from a qualified Tibetan Llama. Anyhow, after several years of effort I was still attacked wtih lustful thoughts and occasionally lost the life force. During this time I was also struggling with Christian archetypes wanting to come up. I learned this is quite common among western converts to Buddhism.

A good friend who was an Adept with a magical Christian Kaballah group suggested I take up the Jesus prayer and integrate that with some of the guru yoga meditation practices I was taught from Tibetan Buddhism. This worked very well, so well I became a lay Eastern Orthodox monk. By the end of 2003 I had overcome lustful thoughts completely. By the end of 2005 I had complete dispassion for the opposite sex.

Looking back I would disagree with that and say I had only managed to destroy a part of my own being and even violated Orthodox Church cannons by starting the long slow process of mentally castrating myself.

Ok, so this brings the Virgin Monk Boy up to 2006. I stilll feel I need at least one or two more transitory posts before introducing the reawakening stages that Sister R brought in 2009.